Mr. and Mrs. Sponge Bath
I had a decent day today. Busy, but decent. All the old folks want their showers on friday, so they can smell nice for church on saturday and sunday. I had the dubious pleasure of bathing Mr. Sponge Bath.
Mr. Sponge Bath lives in the apartment with his wife, Mrs. Sponge Bath. This is a lady who is certifyably crazy, and looks the part. She plucks her eyebrows and draws them on, dyes her hair jet black despite being in her 90's, and wears a mu-mu and fuzzy slippers.
Thats one thing I find to be really odd. I understand ladies (and men) who are younger, going grey, and dye their hair. But when your head is one big puff ball of white, why on earth cant you just accept it and wear your hair gracefully? Why does society urge our old ladies to get that hideous tight poodle perm? Why do old ladies wear blue eyeshadow, flamingo pink blush, and red lipstick? For gods sake, these people are in a nursing home, they have no one to impress.
Ok. End mini rant. Back to the story. I am told that Mrs. Sponge Bath habitually refuses to take baths, so I dont have any bathing stories for her. Mr. Sponge Bath has a wound on his leg, and is paranoid about getting it wet, which is why he takes sponge baths. Predictably, they both smell. Mr. Sponge Bath is semi mobile, meaning he cannot walk, uses a wheelchair, but he can stand on his own, and has use of his arms. I sponged his back, and he did his front and genitals.
The worst part of the entire ordeal was the grunting. Every time he moved his lower legs, stood up, sat down, or otherwise moved, it was accompanied by a grunt of pain. The guy sounded like an animal. We were having a nice conversation about the good old days, and his job, and it was interuppted by constant grunting. I couldn't help thinking to myself "My god...if this is what he sounded like having sex, no wonder she's crazy."
Mr. Sponge Bath lives in the apartment with his wife, Mrs. Sponge Bath. This is a lady who is certifyably crazy, and looks the part. She plucks her eyebrows and draws them on, dyes her hair jet black despite being in her 90's, and wears a mu-mu and fuzzy slippers.
Thats one thing I find to be really odd. I understand ladies (and men) who are younger, going grey, and dye their hair. But when your head is one big puff ball of white, why on earth cant you just accept it and wear your hair gracefully? Why does society urge our old ladies to get that hideous tight poodle perm? Why do old ladies wear blue eyeshadow, flamingo pink blush, and red lipstick? For gods sake, these people are in a nursing home, they have no one to impress.
Ok. End mini rant. Back to the story. I am told that Mrs. Sponge Bath habitually refuses to take baths, so I dont have any bathing stories for her. Mr. Sponge Bath has a wound on his leg, and is paranoid about getting it wet, which is why he takes sponge baths. Predictably, they both smell. Mr. Sponge Bath is semi mobile, meaning he cannot walk, uses a wheelchair, but he can stand on his own, and has use of his arms. I sponged his back, and he did his front and genitals.
The worst part of the entire ordeal was the grunting. Every time he moved his lower legs, stood up, sat down, or otherwise moved, it was accompanied by a grunt of pain. The guy sounded like an animal. We were having a nice conversation about the good old days, and his job, and it was interuppted by constant grunting. I couldn't help thinking to myself "My god...if this is what he sounded like having sex, no wonder she's crazy."
posted by Night Shift Nurse at 9:19 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home