Stoned old Lady

So, Grant's wife is very independent. She takes care of him quite well; she gives him his medications, dresses him, tends his bumps and bruises from his falls, cleans his poos up (which I REALLY wish she'd let us do, because she usually makes a bigger mess). The only thing Us Girls do for her is that I help her in the shower in case she falls.

Tonight, however, was a different story. She had accidently swallowed one of Grants sleeping pills, and when I went in to give her the shower, she was freaking stoned out of her mind. She was slurring her words, could barely stand up, could hardly walk, and was having great difficulty using her limbs. Her fine motor control was gone. It was freaking hilarious, to see this reserved, quiet, proper lady absolutely trashed out of her mind. She was acting like she was really, really drunk.

I had to undress her, help her walk into the shower, put her shower cap on her, scrub her completely, get her dressed, get her in her nighttime absorbent undergarment, walk her into her room, and pick her up and put her in bed. She was slurring so badly I couldnt understand her. We did laugh quite a bit, especially when she nearly fell off the shower chair.

I did promise her I wouldnt tell anyone though. Oops. Dont tell her I told you how funny she was.

Death in Threes

There is a saying, that death comes in threes. After working in this retirement home for a while, I am now a believer.

I am on my third set of three, since I started working here. We recently lost two, and now a third is sick. This will be my first time losing someone that I actually know, that I actually have regular contact with. All of the other old folks who passed on, I haven't known that well.

This situation is difficult as well, because of her family situation. Apparantly, our resident's son hasn't had a lot of contact with his mother, and now that she's ready to leave this world, he is feeling guilty. This is a normal reaction to the loss of any loved one. But he just doesn't seem to be ready to let go. The resident is suffering, and she's going to hang on as long as she can. Her son isn't ready, and it's making her afraid, which just means in the long run she's going to suffer more before her time is up. It is frustrating for Us Girls, because there is nothing we can do to help. I just wish that her death is quiet, quick, and she doesnt have to suffer. But, I have a feeling that wont be the case. She will suffer needlessly because her son refuses to acknowledge it's time to say goodbye.

It is very difficult to remain professional, to remain positive and supportive, and remain objective. My emotions are torn in different directions. But, you just have to stuff your personal feelings away in the back of your mind, and go on with business. Only in the privacy of my home, can I let everything out.
My hobbies are my therapy, including this blog.

Thanks for listening.

Update!

You asked for it. You got it. The latest and greatest on all my favorite and not-so-favorite residents.

Mr. Colostomy is still going strong. However, something is not quite right with him. He had a spot on his back, that was previously a fleshy-red color, about an inch long, and ovalish. The spot changed to a brownish-reddish-purple scabby color. Now, it's changed back to fleshy-red. He also has a yeast infection living in the skin fold between his upper thigh and scrotum. He's scheduled to see the doctor soon.

Irene is actually doing alright. I took a day off three weeks ago, and one of the other co-workers did her bath instead of me. She didnt like the way the coworker did her bath, and now she appreciates me much more. She's much less demanding. However, she still has those disgusting blackheads on her ass.

Birdie is doing well physically, but her mental state is deteriorating. She is starting to hallucinate, complaining that her room is moving, she is seeing things that aren't there, and is likely going to be moved to a psyciatric or alzheimers unit soon.

Mrs. Sponge Bath is still driving me nuts. Her husband is still in rehab, and she's lately taken to bursting into tears, for no reason at all, other than to get attention. I really hate going in her room now.

Ruby is going strong. She's actually one of my favorite residents. She has physical problems, incontinence, and isn't all there mentally, but she has such a good attitude about it. I can usually make her laugh.

I've finally gotten Grant and his wife to take a regular shower, and my life is so much easier. However, the man still has the most disgusting dingleberries. He's also starting to deteriorate. He's losing his hearing, and can be rather frustrating to deal with. He's also going to be moving to an alzheimers unit soon.

As for me...well, I've recently graduated from CNA school - thats Certified Nurse Aid, for you non-medical types. CNA's do all the shit work the regular nurses can't be bothered with. Wiping asses, personal care, bathing, shaving, etc. I'm intending on getting a job somewhere else soon. There is a job at a dialysis clinic that sounds very nice. However, after the class, I really need a few mental health days, before I go out and join the real world again.

More posts later. Just for you. And please, if you read this blog, and want to keep it going, start spreading the word around. Leave me comments. The reason I haven't posted lately is because I didnt think anyone was reading this. If you want me to keep posting, let me know you're listening. Send your friends here and give me some traffic. Maybe I'll become famous or something.

Mean Spirited Old Lady

Mrs. Sponge Bath is promptly becoming one of my least favorite residents. This lady gets herself all worked up over the silliest things. She's decided that I am not competent enough to do my job, for some reason, and has taken to talking shit about me behind my back. She criticizes me to my coworkers, and to the other residents every chance she gets.

For example, today at dinner, I accidently gave her the wrong kind of tea bag, because the two kinds have similar wrappers. She bitched a fit about it. She complains because I dont put enough lotion on her feet, or the water is 'scalding' for her sponge bath. Today, I had my hair in two nice pigtail braids, and she commented to one of the coworkers: "Looks like Pocahantas is in the building." After a few minutes silence, she added "No, she's too fat to be Pocahantas."

Now, I am a heavy girl. However, it's simply not polite to say something like that to someone. She just wants attention. I think she has some sort of neural problem.

Just to piss her off, I'm going to wear my hair in braids more often. The other residents love the look on me, and I usually get tons of compliments.

Desensitization

The first few times I had to do the gross things of this job, such as wiping up poo, I was naturally a little bit grossed out. I quickly got over it, and continued on.

Now, I find that I have been desensitized to the icky aspects of this job. Wiping up poo is now quite normal, and no longer a big deal. Cleaning up catheters and colostomies is no longer a big deal. It's all part of the day to day routine.

Sadly, I've also found myself becoming a bit more distant and desensitized to the residents themselves. For example, I know that Dick and his wife Iris are a difficult couple. Dick has Alzheimers and will tell you the same stories over and over and over again. I've heard them already. I blow them off now, instead of at least acting intersting. I bet these old folks feel patronized.

I have become desensitized to all the fucked up office politics and gossip as well. I stay out of it. Many times, the private conversations of my coworkers are less than professional. Yes, the coworkers are quite professional with the residents, and do their jobs well. But outside of the interactions with the residents, its quite a different story. I'm sick of all the petty crap, so I ignore it.

It really is amazing how quickly us humans will adapt to a stressful environment.

One small step for man....

One giant leap for Miss Birdie. Birdie has recently returned home after a stay at the hospital. She has been bedridden for a while, and for a time, when she was taken to the hospital, the doctors were predicting that she wouldn't make it. Now, she's home and she's going strong.

Birdie returned to us in a wheelchair, and is somewhat disoriented. Many of these old folks can be very routined; their routine gives them a sense of comfort. It helps them to know that all of the tasks that need to be done have been done, and nothing important has been forgotten. With the disruption to her routine, she's become a bit disorganized and confused, but it's nothing terribly major. She'll settle into her routine soon.

Birdie is quickly becoming one of my favorite residents. She likes hugs, always has a smile no matter how confused she is, and always very happy to see you. Simply put, she is sweeter than pie.

Today, instead of getting her into her wheelchair, I reached for her walker, because it was closer. I'm not used to seeing her in a wheelchair, and forgot about it because it was tucked away into the closet. After being bedridden and wheelchair bound, she got up and walked. She was so delighted to be walking that she did a lap through the halls of the building before dinner. She also walked back to her room after supper.

Birdie recently turned 100.

A light-spirited post

I've noticed my posts have become excessively rant-like lately, so I've decided to have a nice happy post. That, and the computer ate my last ranting post, so I think it's a sign from the computer gods. Anyway, here are my very favorite links in the whole wide world. In no particular order.

Newgrounds.com Neat little site for amateur cartoons, games, and the like.
b0g.org my favorite place for disguting pictures, cheap pr0n, etc.
Long Hair Community A message board with styling, product tips, and hair care information for long-haired ladies and gentlemen.
Harry Potter LexiconAll things Harry Potter. Yes, I admit it,I'm an adult Harry Potter fan.
b3ta.com B3ta rocks. Just go there, they rule the universe.
Kooksites.com Kooksites, formerly WebWasteland, previously known as WeirdLinks. A bunch of bizzare links and a blog by the webs one and only Link Digger.
Things that make you go aahhLovely pictures of cute widdle aminals.
Neatorama Along the lines of Kooksites, more off-the-wall links.

Nasty Ass

WARNING: This post is not for the weak of stomach. If you are easily disgusted, do not read this.

I cant get this mental image out of my head. It is without a doubt the nastiest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Now, in this job, there are more than a few things the average person would find squeamish. Wiping up asses, cleaning up poo and urine, doesnt bother me much. Medical things such as the lady with the masectomy; Mr. Colostomy's colostomy; a few people with disgusting nail and skin infections on their feet; one lady with swelled, weeping legs; the lady with the prolasped uterus; and of course, Grants nasty dingleberries; none of this bothers me. I can handle it from an objective, medical prospective. It actually just makes me more curious about the scientific workings of the body and the specifics of their ailment.

However, my most recent experience is simply the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life.

Irene is the aforementioned lady with the masectomy. She is rude, demanding, and a bit of a hypochondriac. While she's in the shower, I notice a bit of darkness around her anus. Thinking that she's got dried poo down there, I tell her to stand up so I can scrub her. Little black bits end up on my washcloth. "What the hell?" I think to myself.

After I get her out of the bath and cleaned up, I ask her to stand up so I can look at her bottom and figure out what the hell is going on down there. I soon discover this lady has multiple large blackhead pimples in neat little rows, extending around her anus. The biggest of them is about a centimeter in diameter. Most of them are between 1-3 millimeters, and there are at least three dozen of them. Some of them have 'popped' when I was scrubbing her bottom, leaving the black bits on the washcloth.

It took me about ten minutes to convince her that her condition was not life threatenening, and I would report it to my supervisors.

The mental image of those blackheads dotting that old lady's puckered anus will forever haunt my mind.